Starting therapy: Taking that first step

Uncertainty about whether or not to start therapy is understandable; its a big decision. There can be a lot of “what if’s” that hold us back from taking that first step: What if it’s uncomfortable? What if they don’t understand? What if (fill in the blank) doesn’t get better?

Our fears can keep us paralyzed, stuck in the problem rather than looking forward to the possibilities, possibilities such as: What if therapy is helpful? What if my life gets better? What if I feel more supported and start making changes in my life that are good for me? What would my life look like then? When we focus on the possibilities rather than our fears, we are more likely to reach out.

Keeping our eyes on the goal while acknowledging the fears keeps us moving forward.

But starting the process can be hard; it takes courage to talk to a stranger about the things you don’t talk about. Being honest about what’s broken in our lives is vulnerable, and most of the time we would rather hide from it than face it head on. We are experts at finding something, anything to distract us from facing the truth.

Maybe you have opened up to someone and been judged or shamed, and you don’t want to go through that again. Perhaps you’ve never experienced emotional safety in a relationship so the thought of being vulnerable is terrifying.

Or perhaps its the social stigma around mental health issues, so you keep up the façade that you “have it all together”. Maybe you like to feel in control, need to be in control, and the thought of letting go feels too risky.

Maybe you’ve gotten so used to living with the brokenness that you believe that this is the best you’re going to get, so why bother? And facing the truth might require change on your part, and you’re not quite sure you’re ready for that.

Perhaps you were raised in a home where you “just don’t talk about such things”, so you judge it as a sign of weakness or failure. Or maybe you learned that your emotional needs weren’t important, and you continue to devalue them to this day, long after you have left home.

Whatever your reason, taking that first step can be hard.

Facing the pain and brokenness takes courage and humility: courage to be honest about the truth, and humility to admit that we can’t do it alone and need some help.

Here’s a little secret: None of us can do it alone. We were created for relationship and we suffer when we try to go it alone.

You weren’t meant to carry it all by yourself.

The good news is that we don’t have to do it all alone. There IS hope that it can get better. Therapy can help.

Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends being the biggest step of your life.

You matter. Your story matters. And you’re worth it.

What are you waiting for?